


There's A New Cat In Town

by woodpusher



Category: Batman - All Media Types, Catwoman - Fandom
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-22
Updated: 2021-01-22
Packaged: 2021-03-15 12:42:13
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 2,036
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28563738
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/woodpusher/pseuds/woodpusher
Summary: The story is inspired by the picture of Catwoman at the beginning of Batman (1966).  Yes, it's clear that it was taken inside Bruce's study.  Presumably neither Commissioner Gordon, Chief O'Hara, nor any member of the Gotham City Police Department has been inside Bruce's study, so the picture doesn't mean anything to them, apart from the fact that Catwoman is in the picture.Does Catwoman already know Bruce is Batman?Hmm....she would have seen the batphone, but might not have recognized it as such.  The Shakespeare bust - was it remote control, or was it wired to the desk and the bookcase?I'll assume it was remote control - that was much less common in the early 1960's but Rruce is super-rich.
Comments: 9
Kudos: 1





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ava_jamison](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ava_jamison/gifts), [TottPaula](https://archiveofourown.org/users/TottPaula/gifts).



> The title is somewhat inspired by the theme song of the Michigan Panthers of the United States Football League (mid-1980's). It was a spring football league - so their competitors included both the Detroit Lions (football) and Detroit Tigers (baseball). Maybe it was "There's Another Cat In Town." The team colors were Royal Plum and Champagne Silver.

Batman, Robin, and Commissioner Gordon meet at the Gotham City Police Department Headquarters.

"Batman, half a dozen jewelry shops have been burgled in the last few months," said Commissioner Gordon, "and there's no clues for any of them. The modus operandi is the same - the security systems are disabled, and then a hand-size hole has been cut into the display case and jewels have been stolen. Some high society homes have been hit as well."  
"Joker or Riddler would have left a clue. It's mostly ice; maybe it's Mr. Freeze?"

"Some of the high society people have had their cars stolen too, so that aspect doesn't quite fit. What makes and models were the cars?"

"There was a Jaguar and a Mercury Cougar." 

"They're both cats." 

"That's right."

"What was stolen from the jewelry stores?"

"Several pairs of cuff links."

Which Jewelry stores?

Canada Gems, Iberian Jewelers, and Yuri Zhan's

Canada lynx, Iberian lynx, Eurasian lynx - more cats!

"What about the others?

"Some Blue Eye Diamonds and also some furs were stolen from Sinatro and Company. A bouquet of violets was left in their place." 

"Batman, there's a breed of cat called Ojos Azules," said Robin. 

"And Frank Sinatra, "Ol' Blue Eyes, sang Violets For Your Furs." 

"Hmmm......that seems like a joke. Maybe it's the Joker?""

Robin, let's get back to the Batcave. Maybe we can find another clue.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [1] breed not recognized until the 1990's.


	2. Chapter 2

A few nights later, Catwoman claws a hole into a window of stately Wayne Manor. She unlocks the window. 

She makes her way to the study. She keeps the lights off but looks around for valuables. "That's an interesting Shakespeare bust," she says to herself. "I don't think I'd get much for it, but I'm going to put it in my bag of tricks."

Bruce wakes, and hears some strange noises. He tiptoes down the steps, and hears an intruder in the study. Without turning the lights on, he tiptoes into the study and snaps a picture, with the flash on full blast. It's a woman! 

"Do you mind taking the mask off to get a better picture?" he asks.

"A not unreasonable request, but impossible to grant," she says.

"Who are you?" he asks.

"You can call me Catwoman," she says. "If you're thinking of calling the police, I cut the phone line," she says. 

"You must be the millionaire playboy Bruce Wayne." she continues. 

"That's right," he says.

"You've cut the phone lines. Let me put the phone in the trash can," he said. "Now where is my Shakespeare bust?" 

"I've got it in my bag of tricks," said Catwoman. 

"It's not worth much," he said. "Can I trade you my watch for it?"

"That is a nice watch," she said. "OK, here's your little statue back."

"Wow, is that real gold on your nails, or claws, are they?"

"Catclaws, yes. They're specialty steel, electroplated gold – not acrylic. It's quite an effect, don't you agree?"

"Yes, it's a shame you've avoided so much as detection on all those burglaries. It's a very beautiful costume."

"Why, thank you Mr. Wayne. Avoiding detection builds my mystique. Gotham City will know who I am when the time is right. You've taken my picture, so maybe the time is right."

"I'll turn it over to the police and my insurance in the morning."

"You often steal your victim's car," 

"Yes, especially if it has a cat-themed name."  


“There's a limit to my generosity,” he says.  


"Then I'll be on my way," she says.  


The next day, Bruce shows the picture to Alfred and Dick. Dick says, “Gosh, Bruce, she sure is pretty.” Bruce, Alfred, and Dick set up a few more security cameras around the manor. Bruce contracts for some electrified, barbed-wire fencing.  


A week or so later, the security alarms go off silently, and Bruce makes his way to the study.  
There is Catwoman again, rubbing the Shakespeare bust.  


"What will you trade me for it now?" she asks.  
"

How about these silver goblets?” asks Bruce.  


“Purr-fect...they'll go nicely with my catclaws. I had them electroplated silver this time.”  


“Oh wow, very nice. I've been saving this bottle of champagne,” he says. “Would you like a drink? I'll take the first cup if you think it might be drugged. We've got some leftover plum cake, too.”  


“That's very gallant of you, Mr. Wayne.”  


“Gold and now silver catclaws,” says Bruce. “Do you have any other flavors?”  


Catwoman says, “No – but I would love to have a set coated in real pearl, but it would take forever and they probably wouldn't come out smooth. Also a set made from tiger, or any big cat claws...or maybe big cat teeth....all having died a natural death, of course.” she says. “Unfortunately it would be difficult to manipulate them. So most people just make necklaces of them.”  


“Yes, that would be cool,” says Bruce.  


“You'd better get on your way....my butler, my youthful ward, or his aunt might hear us.”  


“Until next time,” says Catwoman.  


Again the next morning, Bruce, Dick, and Alfred review security at Wayne Manor. "Bruce," says Dick, "Maybe you should disguise the batphone a little, in case anyone breaks in again?" Maybe you shouldn't label the Batpoles? Someone might figure out there's a switch under Shakespeare's head and just flip it. I mean, most of the time, we're wearing our uniforms under our street clothes, and all the batchanger does is cut off our street clothes. Then we put our boots and capes on."

"Nonsense," says Bruce. "I'm sure it was just a fluke."

A week or so later, the silent alarms go off again. Bruce makes his way to the study. Catwoman again is holding the bust.  


“What will you trade me for it this time?”  


“They're not catclaws, but how about this pearl necklace?”  


"It's nice,” she says, “but I'd like it better if it were stolen.”  


"Stealing is beneath me," says Bruce. 

"I can teach you the tricks of the trade," says Catwoman. 

“Could you by chance cut out the entire window pane? I'd prefer if my youthful ward and my butler didn't know there was a break-in.”  


Catwoman carefully scratches the entire window pane out.  


Bruce opens up a box of glass panes. “I've bought several extras, so come again, any time you like.”  


The routine continued. Bruce never did secure the bust, nor did he change the batsign behind the bookcase. He wanted her to find him out, and yet he didn't want her to find him out. He couldn't bring himself to tell her. He didn't want to arrest her but he knew he had to. She wanted to be one of Gotham City's supercriminals. If he didn't arrest her, most people wouldn't even believe she existed. .  


But how? He couldn't arrest her as she was breaking into Wayne Manor; she'd claim she was there with permission of the owner. No, he'd have to anticipate her next heist.


	3. Chapter 3

Batman meets with Commissioner Gordon. "Commissioner," I have found our perpetrator."   
"You have?"  
"Yes, she calls herself The Catwoman."  
"The Catwoman?"  
"Here's her picture. I can't tell you how I got it."  
"So she dresses up like a cat and plays cat burglar?"  
"That's right."   
“This must be Gotham City's first female supercriminal,” said Commissioner Gordon.   
“Good job on identifying the perpetrator....is there any hope of capturing her?”

“We'll have to anticipate her next heist,” says Batman.  
“You might want to have a talk with Dr. Quinzel over at Arkham Asylum. See what makes her tick.”  
“Good idea,” says Batman


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, I'm mixing The Animated Series with the Classic here - I wanted to establish that Bruce has the same "disease" that Harleen Quinzel has.

Batman meets up with Dr. Harleen Quinzel. “Doctor, have you heard? Gotham City has its first female supercriminal?”  
“The Catwoman? Yes....and a copycat already...she calls herself Zelda the Great.”  
“Yes, Zelda....she's limiting herself to one big crime a year.....so not quite a supercriminal. But I'm sure there will be others.”  
“Oh dear, what does he know about me and the Joker?” Dr. Quinzel wonders. She responds, “Yes, there will be others, I'm sure.”  
“Dr. Quinzel, if a law-abiding citizen, someone like ourselves for instance, fell in love with a supercriminal, would the supercriminal reform, or would the citizen plunge to the depths of a supercriminal?”  
“Oh my goodness,” she thought to herself. “He does know! But what have I done? OK, I've recommended parole and early release for the Joker, but what supercriminal doesn't get off easy in Gotham City? I mean, that prosecutor at the Hall of Justice [1] is completely incompetent, and so are the investigators other than Batman.” But she responds,”If criminals couldn't be reformed, there would be no point in my working at Arkham.”  
“Good point,” he says. “Do you think it could happen twice?” Batman was thinking of Robin, but Dr. Quinzel felt guilty anyway.  
“I suppose....opposites attract, don't they?”  
“They often do,” said Batman.  
“But back to Catwoman – she identifies with the cat – why?”  
“You'll have to capture her before we can figure that out,” she said. “But the cat is stealthy, it hunts at night....for what it's worth, it will eat baby bats,” she continued.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [1] I was watching an old Perry Mason rerun and the courthouse was called the "Hall of Justice," although in other episodes it was "Los Angeles County Courthouse." This was years before Super Friends. It's hard to believe that the only cases Hamilton Burger (amusingly called Ham Burger in the novels) and Lt. Tragg bungled were the ones in which Perry Mason was the defense attorney. What does it say when the defense attorney gets more convictions than the prosecutor?
> 
> I'm assuming Harvey Dent had not arrived on the scene yet.


	5. Chapter 5

Back at the Batcave, Batman asks Robin, "What other breeds of cat are there?"  
"Let's see...Abyssinian, Aegean, American Bobtail....oh, here's one...Aphrodite Giant [1]. Aphrodite was the Greek goddess of love."  
"And her Roman equivalent was...."  
"Venus!"  
"Which leads us to....."  
"The Colossus of Venus!"  
"Yes, that beautiful statue in the Gotham City Museum of Arts and Sciences!"

They race off to the museum. 

How are we going to capture Catwoman? asks Robin  
"We need to avoid a fistfight," says Batman.

Once at the museum, they look at the statue. It's a giant clam with a statue of Venus standing in it. Her exposed breast is a giant pearl, held to the white marble statue with clips made of copper. The clam is surrounded by a fountain. Visitors toss their loose change into the fountain, hoping to change their luck in love.  
"it's sort of like Botticelli's Birth of Venus," says Robin.  
"Yes, but with both shells," says Batman.  
"Carved into white marble," says Robin.  
"It's called Venus marble," says Batman.  
"And copper?" asks Robin.  
"It symbolized Venus," explains Batman.

"Let's talk to the museum director," says Batman.  
"Right on," says Robin.

"Madame DIrector, we have reason to believe that your beautiful statue will be stolen - at least part of it - maybe just the giant pearl" says Batman.  
"Our security measures are top notch," says the director.  
"Holy hubris!" says Robin.  
"Madame Director, we believe that none other than Catwoman is interested in stealing it," says Batman.  
"Catwoman? I thought she was just a publicity stunt."  
"She's real," explains Batman. "She has hit several jewelry stores and also Gotham City's super-rich," says Batman.  
"Well, patrol the neighborhood all you like," says the director.  
"Actually we've got something else in mind," says Batman.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [1] breed not recognized until the 2000's.  
> [2] largest pearl: 14 lb., 9 inches in diameter, worth $40 million.  
> 5 lb. worth only $400k.  
> https://www.karipearls.com/palawan-princess-5-pound-pearl-up-for-auction.html


	6. Chapter 6

Batman and Robin lie in wait for Catwoman. 

Over the next several nights, there are a number of false alarms. 

Finally she shows up, with a sack of tricks. Among them is a fake pearl. 

She puts her goggles on and carefully crosses the fountain. She starts to loosen the copper around the pearl, when....snap!

The jaws of the clam shut on her legs, and a net drops down on her.

"We've got you, Catwoman!" says Batman.

Catwoman tries clawing herself free of the net.

Robin says, "When Vulcan suspected Venus of infidelity, he made a net to trap Mars and Venus. His trap worked."  
Batman approaches to put the bat-cuffs on Catwoman. It triggers the alarm for security to come. Batman knew he didn't have much time to get the bat-cuffts on Catwoman. She would break free of the net, and possibly break free of the clam. She reaches out to scratch his face. To the surprise of both, a spark flies off her catclaw and hits his sweaty face. 

Their eyes met....were they now under Venus' spell? 

"You won't....be in prison long," said Batman. "The supervillains never are."

"Why, thank you," said Catwoman.

"That's a very convincing fake pearl," said Batman.

"Yes, I've been planning this heist for a while," said Catwoman.

"And you almost pulled it off," said Batman.


End file.
